September 2004

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…or was it a day, I truly don’t know…”

Tuesday, a day of infamy, a day of reconciliation of past times, a day and a time of trouble (right here in river city) I was so tired. Tired, tired, tired, I laid in bed still stressed from a Monday of just pure, overwhelming thoughts. Two tests, a pile of unread material for other classes and research that needed to be complete yesterday. I slept in, or at least I tried. To attempt to get another thirty minutes of sleep I didn’t shower, put on a little talcum powder and headed for that big state-run institution of my choosing. I arrived early, still studying for my first test (World Politics) I didn’t get the chance to do it yesterday, I was too mentally and spiritually as well as physically tired (read my other message, I posted) I walked zombified to the fountain, where it was pouring rain (it did this all day) and studied, I took a small break to pick up some Milano cookies (they are my getaway for this crazy place) and continued in vain to study. I went inside were I was assigned a place to sit as not to cheat; because I know all the 300 people in this classroom, mercy. I sat down and just started writing and my glorious, every five minutes this dumb ass, of a TA would yell out different things: “No Cheating” “Remember to answer all questions” “Keep quiet so all can blah, blah, blah” shoot me in the face with a shotgun. I think I did well though; I did do the readings for this class and pay close attention in my study group. My TA is not an ass, like a few (who were yelling during a test) after completing this I went to the library. Yes, ok I admit I skipped my Juvenile Justice class but, I need a good grade for Japanese. I studied, and went to my Japanese class; I think I did well on this test. After this accomplishment my body gave out on me, the lack of sleep and stress came over me “like the first waves of an acid frenzy…” Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I sat down at Burger King after ordering some chicken tenders and a medium, orange soda. I ate and went to the library (again, skipping a class “Hollywood and the Jews” to get caught up in my informational literacy class) I walked up the stairs to the second floor of the library went into the corner were desks line the whole wall, I pulled the chair back, threw my backpack on the floor and used it as a pillow on the floor. I slept soundly for two hours. I awoke to the thoughts of my homework, sat down and organized it all and headed back to my room. I arrived just to see my roommate leaving from whence I just came, the library. I wished him well and sat down to tackle some work. After completing the rest of my library homework, I took a much needed shower and watched four episodes of the Twilight Zone. Called Rachael. Went to bed. Glory.

Zen…

And the art of bludgeoning a librarian with a big freakin’ rock.” My Glorious, what a past few days this has been. I am sorry I missed yesterday’s pow-wow with my fellow partakers in the tribulation, its just that I have been busy and stressed. STRESSED, I just want to go on a vacation of the mind, where there’re are no time zones, no over-arching homework ready to bitch slap you back to reality. There has been no rest for the weary here gentleman and ladies, no rest at all. I guess I should go into the events of yesterday. I believe it was a Monday. On Monday, I woke up to the buzzcock sound of an alarm whispering sweet nothings into my ear, to repay this sweet machine, I plunged a fork through its circuitry. Well not really, I just shut it off but for the art of dramatic effect ignore this sentence. I got out of bed, took a quick shower and headed down to the campus after studying for a few hours for my Japanese test. To find out later when I arrived at class that this test was not until Tuesday; oh well at least I got my studying in. Since, I thought it was such a beautiful day I went down Stuyvesant and scurried over to Edleez tobacco and purchased A tin of Ozona Raspberry, McChrystals’Anisette and a pack of Ecstasy Menthol (herbal cigarettes) I was just in the mood to light up, that and Rachael smokes menthol cigarette’s so I am trying to see if I can wean her from the poison. After that I walked into Coconuts’, a nifty little, store with various digital entertainments, after pursuing the merchandise, I found a few used DVD’s I wanted, so I hid them among the rest (now if I can remember where I hid them…) and I left for greener pastures. I arrived back to my dorm to find it occupied by my glorious roommate sleeping his life away. I made some sun tea and left him sleep for a few hours before, waking him up and bringing him with me to dinner (it’s nice not to eat alone). After the long waiting and greasy food we said our goodbye’s, Ray headed for the library, I headed for my homework. I pined over it (homework) for a long time, I was just so stressed, and I could not study, couldn’t and wouldn’t think, even if I had wanted to. Few people know that I have to think, to do things (I know you say so what, everyone does) I have to think about not convulsing, so I will not twitch like a war veteran from a POW camp. It gets harder to do this as a night wears on; Rachael can attest to this, I’ve smacked her enough times with my limbs at 3:00am. I am just tired of thinking but, in that I rejoice because God has always seen me through, so I move on. Move on with all my endeavors, witness to whoever will hear my voice (and even to some who won’t) because I know if I ask the Lord for a healing, He would do it. He would fix me back to the way I was, erase the brain damage that years of drug abuse had stolen from me, give me back my memory, my motor skills and the ability to make intelligent conversation past 9:45pm. But, I don’t ask, it’s a way, I ask God to keep me in check with just as Paul was accursed with an affliction. “And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in my flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure…” 2 Corinthians 12:7 (NKJV) I find it a way to remind me on the infinite mercy of my Father, if He wouldn’t have come and picked me up I would not be here typing this or anything, I would be tasty worm food. But out of all these stresses I thank God for driving me on, even if it is to drive me to do my Japanese homework a day a head of time.

For some computers …clicking on the links will open the photo’s; If that doesn’t work: right click on the links, go down to properties and copy the URL adress and paste it on another window, you should be able to see it. Webmaster help.

The wait is over!

For all you people with insomnia, or a child who won’t go to bed. I bring you the photo’s of Rachael, Quentin and I.

*Disclaimer: Don’t tell Rachael you’ve seen them, or show her the links. She’s just going to have to wait until the weekend to see them in person. If you do I will have my webmaster: Jay Roberts track down your IP address and blam your computer with evil things. Eeevvviiilll things. (Note From Jay: Yes, I can do this.)



Without further ado, the pictures: Rachael and Quentin, Rachael and I, Rachael & Quentin on a sit n’ spin, Quentin & I (I know, I look like Jesus.) Quentin & I (Maturity is not an issue for either of us.) Quentin & I (I like this one best, the actual photograph looks infinitely better.) Rachael & Quentin (I caught her attention) and finally how can I leave out Tim? (Rachael’s dad) I have a few more pictures but, you’ll just have to suck it up and deal with the fact that I control all things on my Blogg. *Sadistic laughter* Alright it’s 2:40am; I AM GOING TO BED NOW.

“…Hold on!” Pictures will come tomorrow. Get excited world. Woo!

“…Paupers, Peasant and princes and kings…” I find that chronicling my weekends is an arduous journey into a sour place filled with unspeakable terror and strife, along with the occasional anomaly, this place is: My Mind. Since few know what events really took place I decided to add a little more detail into my mindless dribble. When in doubt, pull the Glory out. (I leave that up to your own interpretation, you perverts.)

Thursday: I finished my last class at 2:40pm and ran like a flash of light towards my car but, my tummy grumbled like a Jew over the price of kipper snacks, so I made a stop to the campus store and bought some Milano cookies (they’re just so darn good) then went to my car and took off. With little or no effort I made it back to Peaslyville, NY (aprox. 2.5 hrs.) I got to see my grandmother Mahuta (flew in from Wisconsin) who I haven’t seen in almost a year and had dinner there (with my father & Grandma) my mother, sister and brother were no where to be found. Later on in the evening (around 9:30pm) or so I went to go see Jason and Sarah and we watched: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Afterwards, we headed back to Jason’s house and I called Rachael. After I put down the phone, I realized it was 2:20am. Oh well, Jay and I played Halo until 3:30am. I slept at his house (upon Rachael’s request, she said I sounded tired)

Friday: I woke up at 9:30am and headed out the door with Jason, he went to work, and I went home. As I pulled into the driveway my father was talking to me about the occurrences that happened overnight and we decided to change the oil in my car, later on in the day. My father then asked my as I took off my shoes on the porch “did you cash your check?” (My loan check) I said “no” and found that I needed to do so this day, I sighed, put back on my shoes and flew back to Plattsburgh, cashed my check, bought “The Twilight Zone: Vol:1” went to the mall and paid off my tuxedo and shoes (for Dan’s wedding) and then went back home. Washed, vacuumed and cleaned my car, then changed the oil and filter and helped move around my exhaust system on the car. I then proceeded to do my homework till about 8:30pm or so and headed down to the radio meeting at WQKE. After the meeting: Jay, Corey, Kelly, Abram & Abram’s chick (I don’t remember her name but, she had good taste in music) went to Sarah’s house and played: Risk. I didn’t want to play this game, my mind wanders that late at night but, I was roped into in…the hours slugged by and I must have used around two grams of snuff. I was finally killed around 12:20am. I decided since I was out, to call Rachael, it was glorious. I lay on Sarah’s floor conversing with my honey for about an hour and a half. I said my goodbye’s and drove the college crew back to home base. I drove to Jay’s house, played a little Halo and was dead but, this night I had planned to sleep at Jason’s because, we have a tradition (this semester) to go to the Homestead Restaurant at 8:30am on Saturdays.

Saturday: Jay and I headed to the Homestead and had a manly breakfast (I should have ordered only half) then headed to go wake the sleeping giant (I love Petra) I snuck into Jordan’s room and jumped on his lifeless torso as he yelled vulgarities (I would love to tell you them but, I have heard rumor that my Blogg has an inappropriate amount of four-letter words.) Jordan hopped out of bed a few minutes later and we boogied to the radio station. We had a good show; Sarah came down five minutes into it and is growing to be an excellent DJ. Anywho, we had fun and I had to run. I said my goodbye’s, got some photos of Rachael and Quentin developed (links to come soon to all curious parties, with the exception of pedophiles and people related to Richard Simmons, he just scares me.) and I drove home and studied the night away, with the minor infraction of me scaring the ever-loving shit out of Stephanie’s (my sister) unofficial date. I flashed a foot-long blade in this young man’s direction and broke it down to him, gave him my policy on good behavior and explained to him that if these rules were broken, I would slit his throat open with a song in my heart. He pissed himself and I finished my homework. Stayed up with my grandmother, watched some TV and waited for my parents and Steph-o to come home. 11:00pm Stephanie arrived, two minutes later I gave the date, the boot. My parents arrived at 11:30pm and I called Rachael an hour later, we talked into the late night, Michael (my brother) talked to her as well. I then headed to the sleepy place.

Sunday: I went to church and had a jolly good time in the Lord and fellowshipped with my glorious friend Dan and his lovely fiancée Danielle had some cake, some conversation with Danno and I drove home. Got some gas, put my things together, said goodbye to the family and headed to Plattsburgh. I picked up some Oolong tea for Rachael and visited my now-healing grandfather who is in the hospital. After about 30 minutes of visiting time, I smooched my aunts, grandmother and pop and headed down to Albany. I arrived here a while ago. *Sigh* Email me if you find my weekend chronicling as boring to read, as it is as tedious for me to write. Good times.

…Baby let me follow you down…” If some of you haven’t noticed I am a huge Bob Dylan fan (i.e. my posts titles: mostly Dylan lyrics) anyways this is my last post of the week, (unless I find a PC) I am off to the green pastures of Upstate NY, to be more exact: Peaslyville, NY. There is nothing quite like Peaslyville, if it wasn’t for the people living there it would be my version of Heaven. The mountains are so beautiful this time of year, the oranges, red and gold colors shimmer in the cool breeze. There is a stream next to my house where I used to go fishing, sometimes all day. Don’t get me started on my backyard, it just keeps on going, seemingly never ending, the trees are aged by the century there, you can’t see the ground its covered in pine needles and moss, a cozy area for deer to bed (with the exception of hunting season) and the birds, the birds never stop singing, all day you hear the blue jays, wrens and goldfinches and at night the gentle sounds of the whippoorwill will put you right to sleep and as the sun climbs the mountains the chickadee’s come to life, you can see that this world was not an accident here, it was created by a Master craftsman, knowing His trade like no other. Glory. As you can see I have quite an attachment, to this little known town although, I loathe it at the same time. If it were deserted it would be paradise but, with all the rednecks it’s more of an irritation. Anywho… I am going back for the weekend to see my family, friends and my dog: Digger. I have three classes tomorrow but, I will be finished at 2:40pm. See you on Sunday night oh beloved fans (no one reads my Blogg) Just keep that image in your heads and Make an homage to Peaslyville, see the sights.

Then you begin to make it better, better, better…” Hey Jude and Jay, Ronald…My Glorious if today was not my day of days. I went to bed last night sick as a dog and this morning when I awoke I was well! Praise be to God. I took a shower and went out to my car to see a little piece of paper on it, I thought “my the breeze is marvelous today” and as I bent down to pick this piece of trash off my windshield, I found to my surprise a ticket!!!! A $50.00 fine, for parking in a no-parking zone, I have parked in this same spot at least twice and have received no penalty…I guess they just caught me, the jig is up, I must pay the man. As I sat in my car grumbling over this new, found loss of my own currency I realized, Good Gravy Batman, You’re going to be late! “To the bat cave Robin! *BAM* I got to UA and sprung from my car like Rocky the flying squirrel chasing Boris Badenough. As I flew to my class, I thanked God for my ticket and also for being late to class. “…Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1Thessolonians 5:16-18. With a smile on my face, I sat down and handed in my homework, sat through a less than interesting lecture and headed out the door to find a fellow student on my Japanese class. I decided to ask this young man what went on in class yesterday (I skipped but, with good reasons, read my Blogg, you slackers!) he said “oh just a test.” I replied “oh” *thinking* “F-U-C-K” (just in case inquiring minds wondered what went on in my head) I walked up the stairs of the library, sat down and studied, studied and studied, got some pizza and studied more. I got up from the fountain area (where I was eating, it’s a very beautiful view for all non-U Albany people) and headed to my study-section for world politics. I quite enjoyed my TA, he was quite informative about the test on Tuesday, and he helped me with a lot of the concepts for the test. I then took the walk of shame towards my Japanese class, under-prepared, overly-stressed and having fresh, world politics Theories buzzing around in my brain like a disturbed beehive. We sat down and I took the test. That’s it. I blacked out and I came to somewhere on Western Avenue and Partridge. I sat down on my bed for a moment or two, then realized there is nothing I could do about it (the test) so I read my email, which is a whore of a different color (For all you Wizard of Oz fans, that’s funny.) Anywho, I called Dan and we had a jolly-good time, I went down and ate lunch with my roomy, came back and talked with Jay: Webmaster Extraordinaire It was a good end to a somewhat bleak afternoon. But the evening my friends is still coming and I will get to talk to Rachael. God is still good and sitting on the throne. And my Blogg was updated! (Tip your hats to Jay Roberts) So Glory I say.

At this time I’d like to ask Brian to compose a post abnout God’s proverbial “Can of Whoop-Ass. I feel it would be appropriate.”

By Popular Request I will attempt to show you my OWN thoughts on the salvation, I have come to know. (This is my own opinion)

“…The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Proverbs 1:7 (KJV)

I was once asked what would be one word I would use to some up God in, if I could describe one characteristic in detail what would He be: I said “Scary”. I know someone who says that they love God and describe Him as scary, has a few screws loose, let me explain. When I came to the Lord, I wasn’t an average run-of-the-mill, kid. I was a junkie, I had been a junkie since the age of nine years old and not much scared me at all in this point of my life, not violence, not neglect…nothing, I was ready for death (I’d already had been near it a few times by this point). I was twelve years of age when I was sitting down in a church, listening to an Evangelist talking about the end times, hell and brimstone. Before the end of that sermon, I ran to that altar and asked the Lord into my life and to forgive me of all my sins, and He did, He also did something else that also changed my life, He cleaned me up, I never have touched drugs since that point. So when I was asked why was I saved, I said “Fear” Fear of the Lord. Picture if you will my thoughts on this: God, omniscient, Alpha and Omega, everlasting Creator sitting in Heaven watching, watching His children that He has been trying to save and help just spit on His commandments. As one sins God, God holds up a Can of Spiritual Whoop-ass and looks upon us and yells “Do it, do it and I’ll fucking spank you!” and as we as all His children do, we fall (sin) He raises this can of spiritual Whoop-ass, that when poured on damns you like lightning straight to Hell, as humans we don’t deserve any better. Just as for example: I sinned, just as we all do. God looks down and grabs the can, the can that will damn my soul, Jesus grabs his hands and looks at His father and says “No Dad” “You see that man, the one who just sinned, I died for him. You see the holes in my hand; do you remember when the people pounded nails into them? Do you remember me looking up to you? I died for Him.” Then God replies “This one too?” Jesus replies “Yes, he’s a stupid kid but, he’s mine, see he just prayed for forgiveness?.” God sets the Can of Spiritual Whoop-ass back on the shelf and waits to hear the same lecture from His Son in about five minutes, when I slip again. I know this makes me sound like a heretic but, it’s my light-hearted thoughts on how it works in Heaven.

*The Lord knows that I am not mocking Him and the dialogue between God and Jesus is totally fictitious. This is just how I perceive in my mind, the way Jesus, the Son of God shows infinite mercy on his stupid children. Remember before you throw a rock at me for my own thoughts. Remember “…He who is without sin cast the first stone…” John 8:7 (look it up)

…Tangled up in blue.” Tangled is the operative word for this day of mine. I went to bed last night around 4:00am and awoke at 9:15am, I was dead. I opted not to shower this morning, dashed a little baby powder on (oh come on, you’ve all done it before) and ran out the door to get to my World Politics class. I was in prayer the entire trip to the campus, something I learned from my Glorious friend Jay Roberts, spending time with the Lord definitely helped my day out tremendously that and I skipped my Japanese class to do all my research in the library and take a nap (which was definitely needed, If you haven’t already broken out ye ole’ calculator to tally my hours of sleep this morning). I also got the notion to eat lunch, later on this day and went back to my old stomping grounds in Dutch quad, as I walked to the cafeteria that fed me filling, sub-par food in years past I found someone. Andre, my old college rooming buddy, this young man is nothing but, glorious we chat for a while and then parted ways (he needed to lift weights for track, I needed to gain weight at the café) As I entered the familiar halls, I saw another familiar face, the same ‘lunch lady’ (I feel horrible, I don’t know her name but, I like to keep things professional at school. You can never be too careful) She recognized me right off and we talked about our summers and my new living quarters, then parted ways as we did so many times before (with a smile and a wave, I think she was looking at my butt too as I walked up the stairs. I can’t blame her, it’s nice. Ask Rachaelor don’t.) I went to my Hollywood and the Jews class about 20 minutes later, where I met my CA (Campus Ambassadors) pal, Jay. This was the first time I enjoyed the class, an hour lecture and a movie called: Teyve, based off short stories of a famous Yiddish author (No I don’t remember his name forgive me) It was a low budget flick from the 30’s, I loved it. Beautiful, Glorious, go see it. Anywho, afterwards I went to BK and swallowed most of a revolting chicken sandwich and onion rings and headed back to good ole’ CA. The message was given by a local minister, it wasn’t the message that impressed me, it was the thoughts of reaching the lost of this campus and he had many colorful suggestions on how to do so (clean toilets, talk to lonely people ect.) I think I won’t do the toilet cleaning thing but, definitely talking to strangers that seem alone. Oh, I almost forgot, as I was walking out of CA, who do I meet?! Plattsburgh’s own: Jeff-o Kirby. I shook my head in disbelief as I shook his hand and we talked briefly about life. I headed out 10 minutes later and got in my car, listening to “Bob Dylan’s: Saved” album and drove into my parking spot and finished my homework for tomorrow, I know I am amazed too, God is good. I am going to talk to Rachael in about 40 minutes, life does not get much better than this.

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