April 2005

“…And somebody points to you and says”It’s his”And you say, “What’s mine?”And somebody else says, “Where what is?”And you say, “Oh my GodAm I here all alone?” Because something is happening hereBut you don’t know what it is Do you, Mister Jones?…”
-Ballad of a thin man. Bob Dylan 1965.

Crazed confusion and antics unlike your own is the theorem for today… I find that my mind wanders uneasily, when I am haggard. My mind for the past few days has been aimlessly walking towards sanity. Last night I was trying to finish writing my paper for my Criminal Justice class and found that I just couldn’t do it. I called my Dad just for some guidance for the stress that I’ve had over the past weekend or so. His answer was simple: Pray. That I did in no small ammount, along with reading the scriptures, I Divinely stumbled unto a scripture that just spoke to my soul.

• “praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints–and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.” Ephesians 6:18-20.

It was an interesting moment for me because, my father and I were just talking about “putting on the full armor of God” which is just about 3 or 4 verses up from this. Just that way that Paul writes on prayer: “praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit” Basically, Praying with humbleness, earnest petition to God. I don’t know about you but, I sometimes have a problem with being humble. God always finds a way of putting me in my place though on many occasions but, last night I finally sat down and just poured myself out. I think a tear or two might have fallen. It’s been rough but, God is good. Prayer still works and always will. When I woke up this morning, I was refreshed. So if you find yourself stressed be it: relationships, school, work. Pray hard.

***P.S. Jay This is probably one of the posts you can translate for me and mirror on your blogg.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles…and I opted for the bus. Last week I got a ticket for parking in the only spot left in a two block radius of my dorm. In a rage and an act of defiance, I have decided to bus hop. That’s right leave my car in the more than, capable hands of the UPD (University Police Department) to watch in the minuscule patch of gravel they call a parking lot downtown. You can all start laughing now (Albany has a problem with car thieves). Anyways, yesterday morning I got up about 20 minutes early and walked out amongst my people. That’s right, my people. My peers and dorm room acquaintances. It gave me a sense of community as the myriad of chorused yawnings came to my ear and begged me to join along. I got on the bus and arrived 10 minutes before my class started. Had lunch, two more classes before I decided to head home. As I waited for the next bus, to arrive I was able to relax, no fighting in traffic, no fingers flying south, no red-light-running…peace. Well as much peace as you can get with 30 college students riding together. As I was saying I proceed on to the bus and take a seat, I look outside, open the window and taste the polluted air; suddenly….I notice the bus is going in the opposite direction of where I want to go!…I come to a small panic and after the bus drivers second stop, I find that I needed to take the bus that proceeded his. Mercy. I got dropped off at a reasonable distance to where, I first began riding and had to walk back to my original point of refuge. I did finally get on the right bus and travel home but, in that I lost my original sense of novelty. Now it was just a mild irritation and small box full of sweaty students…Needless to say, today I drove my car and made Ralph Nader cry the day I made public transportation die.
“Drove my Chevy to the levy but, the levy was dry
Good ol’ boys were drinking whiskey and rye singing
this will be the day that I die, this will be the day that I die.” -American Pie, Don McLean.

…La-Di-Da…” Annie Hall. (Woody Allen, 1977)

Ah, there’s nothing like the escapism of a film to clear the head! I find that when I am nervous, aggrivated or just down, there is nix that soothes the savage beast as sitting down with your favorite director and spinning the night a way. I can remember several times, after spanish class (Around 10:20am) I would come down to the library distraught over a bad grade and would immerse myself into the world of Woody Allen or Stanley Kubrick. And for a few hours you enter the realm of fiction whether it’s the War Room of the White House (Dr. Stangelove) or actually going into the movie screen to meet the love of your life (The Purple Rose of Cairo) It’s always an experience. Although, maybe I would have better grades if in spanish if, I watched more foreign films! O debo apenas estudiar quizá más.

“…But listen closely…Not for very much longer…I’ve got to keep control.”- Time Warp, Richard O’Brien (Rocky Horror Picture Show)

Let’s do the time warp again! I wish desperately at times, I could do this. Not a jump to the left and a step to the right but, go back into time, just for a little while. Not sleep-in or study harder on a test, even better go back to high school and take spanish and get a good grade so I wouldn’t have to take it my bloody senior year. Oh well, you gotta look forward or else you’ll walk straight into the present. Trust me the present is a big, ugly guy who hates people who don’t watch where they are going. I’ve gotten my glory handed to me on many occasions by the present. I remember once in high school, my sophmore year…I was in english class thinking about a young, devotchka I had met that last week and the fun I had. When my teacher (a good looking women in her mid-30’s or so) asked me “Brian what are you thinking about?” [I was in a daze] I replied with a wink and a half-smile and a sexy voice “Mrs. Blank you don’t want to know.” Her husband was the basketball coach. Let’s just say I was watched very closely by him and somehow recieved quite a few laps in gym class. Just food for thought…
“It’s so dreamy, oh fantasy free me. So you can’t see me, no, not at all. In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention, Well secluded, I see all…” -Time Warp.

…And they think that they have got the battle wonI say forgive them lord the do not what they’ve done So as soon as the sun will shine I’m gonna get my shine out what’s mine And then the harder they come, the harder they fall, one up!…” -Harder they Come, Jimmy Cliff.

Good Afternoon and take warning…It’s that time of the week, a time for homework, rowdiness and possible anarchy. I as a fellow partaker in this hallowed weekly event have one thing to say. Enjoy it! Take the time to smell the dead grass outside your muddy domicile, look up to the sky and enjoy the sunshine. Most importantly, I got my new box-set of Steel Angel Kurumi. It’s the complete and unabridged anime series collection. I waited for only Glory knows how long for amazon to send it but, its here. So whatever I mentioned about homework earlier…do it but,…in between Kurumi episodes and drinking of strong and powerful ammounts of whatever your favorite beverage is (mine is water).

I know, I am a geek, get used to it.
Pawafuru mirakuru ima kuru!
Hajikeru majikaru wandafuru!
** RIRIKARU KOMIKARU koi suru torokeru
Mi-ra-ku-ru-mi
Kiss kara hajimaru Miracle datte aru yo ne (aru yo ne)
Ame demo hare demo anata ga iru kara
Itsumo zun zun ikeru yo Tsubasa no haeteru tenshi ni natte tondara (tondara)
Ginga no kanata no kirameku CHAPERU de
Wedding-bell narasu no
Shimpai shinai ki ni shinai
Naku no wa ureshii toki da yo
Mamotte ageru watashi no mune de
Kyuin!-tte dakishimete ageru
Kiss shite mezmete onna no ko-tte uki uki (uki uki)
HONKI de suki nara tamerawanai de ne (All)
Koi wa byun byun ikou yo
Anata no tame nara hi no naka datte atsukunai
(atsukunai)
Koori no kuni demo mizugi de ikeru yo
Uchuu datte OK
Anshin shite ne hotto shite ne
Itsudemo egao de iru kara
Futatsu no mune no fukurami no naka
OTONA no HAATO ga aru kara
Kiss kara hajimaru Miracle!
Nachuraru sumairu wandafuru!
Awateru korogaru ukareru yume miru
Mi-ra-ku-ru-mi!
HONTO wa ano ne chotto dake
Ima yori NA-KA-YO-KU shitai no
Anata no koe de sasayaki kakete
Yasashiku dakishimete hoshii
Mi-ra-ku-ru-mi!

Well, Another day passes by again. Time for me to reflect on time served here at this good ole’ hole called UAlbany. It actually hasn’t been that bad, I’ve just been busy with homework and tests…In fact, its had me a little downhearted. I think its because I miss my friends and family (along with my fiancee’ and son) but, last Sunday I was given a little insight. I know that this is going to sound like an old adage and rule of thumb but, you don’t often think about it in the hustle and bustle of running to work, class and into the ground: Live like its your last day. More importantly though with that thought in mind, I had man of the cloth direct me towards this scripture.
“Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the LORD rises upon you
and his glory appears over you.
Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn.”
- Isaiah 60:1-3
You know, living life as its your last day brings some awsome responsibility for yourself. Some may say then to live your life as the last would best be served as: “And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.” ’ “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. …This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.”(Luke 12:19-22)
Hmm…After reading and hearing these scriptures, I had a guilt trip the size of Mother Love’s knicker’s !!! I thought I would just pass on the idea of “Arising and Shining” it’s been stuck in my head all week. I’ve been giving it a whirl and not to mention with adding a positive attitude of life to boot, I think its been a more effective witness than say, doing nothing. It’s just a thought. Shine.