Headed on down the highway again, in full blazoning abandon! Can you believe that the time has flown by yet again? My life can be summed up by following the highway. I am a traveling man, or should I say I used to be before my current occupation. Whenever I jumped on the highway, I would feel as I should recompense Jack Kerouac for his adventures. I’ve tried to burlesque but, laud to the Almighty I’ve just never been able to imitate. You just can’t hitch a ride anymore across the country, mercy. Anywho, I’ve had to drive out to a semi-rural area for training for my job. Maryland actually has beauty to it granted, it’s not the Adirondacks but, sometimes in life you have to improvise. I drove through the rolling hills and passed the cornfields, and I regressed back to my childhood running though the mountains with my siblings, and the few neighbors I had. There is nothing quite like being in the wilderness to see God’s glory shining all around you. When I hear the wind rushing through the tall grass I can hear the earth singing His praises in such a worshipful bliss it entrances me, and makes me wanted to join in. So, whether you’re sitting in out in Peasleeville, NY or in Baltimore sit out your front door, listen and join in. God’s glory is everywhere and remember: If you don’t other will.

“And some of the Pharisees called to Him (Jesus) from the crowd, “Teacher, rebuke Your disciples.”
But He answered and said to them, “I tell you that if these should keep silent, the stones would immediately cry out.” –Luke 19:39-40 (NKJV)

I know that these are strange lyrics to start a post but, the chorus sticks in my head from time to time, and makes me think of life in a different time when life was a little simpler. Granted, I was around -15 years old when the single came out on 7’’ vinyl but, some of the fondest moments in my life come from politics and cuckolds (just kidding).

Life is so much different for me and many others now. I am on the edge of the starting line of life, family and career; which in these trying times also coincide with a massive debt, and the illusion that a piece of paper that cost us 40k will help us get any job we desire. I look at all this and I think: Where is God in all of this? And I know the answer: He’s always been there.

“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say:
“ The LORD is my helper;
I will not fear.
What can man do to me?”-Hebrews 13:5-6

God has been there since the very beginning well, technically before the beginning but, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I know throughout my life, I have had many near death experiences, struggles and strife as we all have but, without Him I know that I would be dead. Back then, my faith was massive and unwavering now, I struggle to say: “Lord, help me pay my bills?” Where has my faith gone? It seems that it has traveled and decreased with time and age. As I think of this, I ponder the faith of those who came before us, as mentioned in Hebrews 11 (click to read scripture). These men and women came before Christ came to seek and save us with His grace. If these men and women could maintain their faith before the Holy Spirit was poured out on mankind why can’t I? Where did I loose the strength in my faith? I know that answer to this now after doing some major soul searching, I haven’t lost my faith. As we mature in our Christian walk, we will go through dry periods when you don’t feel like the men and women of faith we are. The answer: Pray on, and strive on!

I will leave you with a quote I heard when I was 13. “Live your life so, the preacher doesn’t have to lie at your funeral.” Koo-koo-ka-choo.

*Remember the riches that we accumulate down here, will not compare to the glory of the riches we accumulate up there.

]]> http://mahutaville.com/2008/02/27/change/feed/ http://mahutaville.com/2008/02/13/bewildering/ http://mahutaville.com/2008/02/13/bewildering/#comments Thu, 14 Feb 2008 04:38:11 +0000 HeroinGlory http://mahutaville.com/2008/02/13/bewildering/ Frustration is inevitable from time to time. I am vexed over political & unseeable restraints that hold me to my current position in life.

In short: This sucks.

When my wife and I first moved to Maryland I was jobless, and money was tight but, God was faithful. I labored vehemently to find a job. I must have filled out a hundred applications, and had a few job interviews but, only one job was open to me.

A call center.

For those who do not know me that well, I had a bad experience in my youth working for an evil corporation that sucked the soul from my body; In turn to all this evil I decided one thing: I need to have other people suffer.

I elected my friend, and webmaster Jay Roberts to help me out on this venture. We both joined: ORC MACRO. We were young, and stupid.

After working there for a spell, we moved on to greener pastures, and vowed never again to travel down that dark path.

God began to laugh.

Fast forward seven years.

Marriage, moving, jobless…

God places a job, the only job available to me…working at a call center.

Work is a B….lessing.

That’s right, I said it! I may not be thrilled with my job but, they pay well, and I work with many other brethren in the faith.

Far be it for me to come across as a proud person but, I think of myself as David out in the wilderness. King Saul seeking my life but, I know my Father is watching out for me.

” I called on the LORD in distress;
The LORD answered me and set me in a broad place.
The LORD is on my side;
I will not fear. ” -Psalms 118:5-6 [NKJV]

I may not be attacked by an army that is trying to kill me but, I know that when I call on the Lord, He will answer me.

Psalm 118

Praise to God for His Everlasting Mercy

1 Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!
For His mercy endures forever.

2 Let Israel now say,
“His mercy endures forever.”
3 Let the house of Aaron now say,
“His mercy endures forever.”
4 Let those who fear the LORD now say,
“His mercy endures forever.”

5 I called on the LORD in distress;
The LORD answered me and set me in a broad place.
6 The LORD is on my side;
I will not fear.
What can man do to me?
7 The LORD is for me among those who help me;
Therefore I shall see my desire on those who hate me.
8 It is better to trust in the LORD
Than to put confidence in man.
9 It is better to trust in the LORD
Than to put confidence in princes.

10 All nations surrounded me,
But in the name of the LORD I will destroy them.
11 They surrounded me,
Yes, they surrounded me;
But in the name of the LORD I will destroy them.
12 They surrounded me like bees;
They were quenched like a fire of thorns;
For in the name of the LORD I will destroy them.
13 You pushed me violently, that I might fall,
But the LORD helped me.
14 The LORD is my strength and song,
And He has become my salvation.^[a]

15 The voice of rejoicing and salvation
Is in the tents of the righteous;
The right hand of the LORD does valiantly.
16 The right hand of the LORD is exalted;
The right hand of the LORD does valiantly.
17 I shall not die, but live,
And declare the works of the LORD.
18 The LORD has chastened me severely,
But He has not given me over to death.

19 Open to me the gates of righteousness;
I will go through them,
And I will praise the LORD.
20 This is the gate of the LORD,
Through which the righteous shall enter.

21 I will praise You,
For You have answered me,
And have become my salvation.

22 The stone which the builders rejected
Has become the chief cornerstone.
23 This was the LORD’s doing;
It is marvelous in our eyes.
24 This is the day the LORD has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.

25 Save now, I pray, O LORD;
O LORD, I pray, send now prosperity.
26 Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD!
We have blessed you from the house of the LORD.
27 God is the LORD,
And He has given us light;
Bind the sacrifice with cords to the horns of the altar.
28 You are my God, and I will praise You;
You are my God, I will exalt You.

29 Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!
For His mercy endures forever.More to come soon.

I was sitting in church this Sunday, and the Pastor began to talk about the creation story, found in the Book of Genesis. Immediately, he made comment of a common myth, and belief of some sects of Christianity and other religions: The story of Lilith. Lilith is found in many religions and faiths from early sects of Catholics, to the Jews, and other religions stemming from cults to Satanism.

Lilith is supposed to be Adam’s first wife. Some Christian scholar’s believe that there are two creations stories in the Book of Genesis. Here’s how to Hebrew/Christian story births:

“The idea that Adam had a wife prior to Eve may have developed from an interpretation of the Book of Genesis and its dual creation accounts; while Genesis 2:22 describes God’s creation of Eve from Adam’s rib, an earlier passage, 1:27, already indicates that a woman had been made: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” The text places Lilith’s creation after God’s words in Genesis 2:18 that “it is not good for man to be alone”. He forms Lilith out of the clay from which he made Adam, but the two bicker. Lilith claims that since she and Adam were created in the same way, they were equal, and she refuses to “lie below” him.” After God created Adam, who was alone, He said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone.’ He then created a woman for Adam, from the earth, as He had created Adam himself, and called her Lilith. Adam and Lilith immediately began to fight. She said, ‘I will not lie below,’ and he said, ‘I will not lie beneath you, but only on top. For you are fit only to be in the bottom position, while I am to be the superior one.’ Lilith responded, ‘We are equal to each other inasmuch as we were both created from the earth.’ But they would not listen to one another. When Lilith saw this, she pronounced the Ineffable Name and flew away into the air.

Adam stood in prayer before his Creator: ‘Sovereign of the universe!’ he said, ‘the woman you gave me has run away.’ At once, the Holy One, blessed be He, sent these three angels Senoy, Sansenoy, and Semangelof, to bring her back.

“Said the Holy One to Adam, ‘If she agrees to come back, what is made is good. If not, she must permit one hundred of her children to die every day.’ The angels left God and pursued Lilith, whom they overtook in the midst of the sea, in the mighty waters wherein the Egyptians were destined to drown. They told her God’s word, but she did not wish to return. The angels said, ‘We shall drown you in the sea.’

“‘Leave me!’ she said. ‘I was created only to cause sickness to infants. If the infant is male, I have dominion over him for eight days after his birth, and if female, for twenty days.’

“When the angels heard Lilith’s words, they insisted she go back. But she swore to them by the name of the living and eternal God: ‘Whenever I see you or your names or your forms in an amulet, I will have no power over that infant.’ She also agreed to have one hundred of her children die every day. Accordingly, every day one hundred demons perish, and for the same reason, we write the angels names on the amulets of young children. When Lilith sees their names, she remembers her oath, and the child recovers.”

–Wikipedia: Lilith.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilith#Lilith_in_the_Bible

As we can see Lilith is a defiant woman who refuses both Adam, and God. After the three angels try to take her back she becomes enraged, and God damns her to become a demon. Lilith is known to the Jews to be a horrifying demon that kills babies before they are circumcised. In addition to this, Lilith is supposed to be responsible for all male ‘nocturnal emissions.’

Here is an excerpt from Graves, and Patai’s work “The Hebrew Myths”. To help illustrate a more fuller picture of Lilith.

Chapter 10: Adam’s Helpmeets
(Excerpt from The Hebrew Myths by Robert Graves and Raphael Patai (New York: Doubleday, 1964), pp 65-69.)

“Some say that God created man and woman in His own image on the Sixth Day, giving them charge over the world; [2] but that Eve did not yet exist. Now, God had set Adam to name every beast, bird and other living thing. When they passed before him in pairs, male and female, Adam-being already like a twenty-year-old man-felt jealous of their loves, and though he tried coupling with each female in turn, found no satisfaction in the act. He therefore cried: ‘Every creature but I has a proper matel’, and prayed God would remedy this injustice. [3]

(c) God then formed Lilith, the first woman, just as He had formed Adam, except that He used filth and sediment instead of pure dust. From Adam’s union with this demoness, and with another like her named Naamah, Tubal Cain’s sister, sprang Asmodeus and innumerable demons that still plague mankind. Many generations later, Lilith and Naamah came to Solomon’s judgement seat, disguised as harlots of Jerusalem‘. [4]

(d) Adam and Lilith never found peace together; for when he wished to lie with her, she took offence at the recumbent posture he demanded. ‘Why must I lie beneath you?’ she asked. ‘I also was made from dust, and am therefore your equal.’ Because Adam tried to compel her obedience by force, Lilith, in a rage, uttered the magic name of God, rose into the air and left him.

(c) God then formed Lilith, the first woman, just as He had formed Adam, except that He used filth and sediment instead of pure dust. From Adam’s union with this demoness, and with another like her named Naamah, Tubal Cain’s sister, sprang Asmodeus and innumerable demons that still plague mankind. Many generations later, Lilith and Naamah came to Solomon’s judgement seat, disguised as harlots of Jerusalem‘. [4]

(d) Adam and Lilith never found peace together; for when he wished to lie with her, she took offence at the recumbent posture he demanded. ‘Why must I lie beneath you?’ she asked. ‘I also was made from dust, and am therefore your equal.’ Because Adam tried to compel her obedience by force, Lilith, in a rage, uttered the magic name of God, rose into the air and left him.

Adam complained to God: ‘I have been deserted by my helpmeet’ God at once sent the angels Senoy, Sansenoy and Semangelof to fetch Lilith back. They found her beside the Red Sea, a region abounding in lascivious demons, to whom she bore lilim at the rate of more than one hundred a day. ‘Return to Adam without delay,’ the angels said, `or we will drown you!’ Lilith asked: `How can I return to Adam and live like an honest housewife, after my stay beside the Red Sea?? ‘It will be death to refuse!’ they answered. `How can I die,’ Lilith asked again, `when God has ordered me to take charge of all newborn children: boys up to the eighth day of life, that of circumcision; girls up to the twentieth day. None the less, if ever I see your three names or likenesses displayed in an amulet above a newborn child, I promise to spare it.’ To this they agreed; but God punished Lilith by making one hundred of her demon children perish daily; [5] and if she could not destroy a human infant, because of the angelic amulet, she would spitefully turn against her own. [6] (e) Some say that Lilith ruled as queen in Zmargad, and again in Sheba; and was the demoness who destroyed job’s sons. [7] Yet she escaped the curse of death which overtook Adam, since they had parted long before the Fall. Lilith and Naamah not only strangle infants but also seduce dreaming men, any one of whom, sleeping alone, may become their victim. [8]

(f) Undismayed by His failure to give Adam a suitable helpmeet, God tried again, and let him watch while he built up a woman’s anatomy: using bones, tissues, muscles, blood and glandular secretions, then covering the whole with skin and adding tufts of hair in places. The sight caused Adam such disgust that even when this woman, the First Eve, stood there in her full beauty, he felt an invincible repugnance. God knew that He had failed once more, and took the First Eve away. Where she went, nobody knows for certain. [9]

(g) God tried a third time, and acted more circumspectly. Having taken a rib from Adam’s side in his sleep, He formed it into a woman; then plaited her hair and adorned her, like a bride, with twenty-four pieces of jewellery, before waking him. Adam was entranced. [10]

(h) Some say that God created Eve not from Adam’s rib, but from a tail ending in a sting which had been part of his body. God cut this off, and the stump-now a useless coccyx-is still carried by Adam’s descendants. [11]

(i) Others say that God’s original thought had been to create two human beings, male and female; but instead He designed a single one with a male face looking forward, and a female face looking back. Again He changed His mind, removed Adam’s backward-looking face, and built a woman’s body for it. [12]

(j) Still others hold that Adam was originally created as an androgyne of male and female bodies joined back to back. Since this posture made locomotion difficult, and conversation awkward, God divided the androgyne and gave each half a new rear. These separate beings He placed in Eden, forbidding them to couple. [13]

Notes on sources:

1. Genesis II. 18-25; III. 20.

2. Genesis I. 26-28.

3. Gen. Rab. 17.4; B. Yebamot 632.

4. Yalqut Reubeni ad. Gen. II. 21; IV. 8.

5. Alpha Beta diBen Sira, 47; Gaster, MGWJ, 29 (1880), 553 ff.

6. Num. Rab. 16.25.

7. Targum ad job 1. 15.

8. B. Shabbat 151b; Ginzberg, LJ, V. 147-48.

9. Gen. Rab. 158, 163-64; Mid. Abkir 133, 135; Abot diR. Nathan 24; B. Sanhedrin 39a.

10. Gen. II. 21-22; Gen. Rab. 161.

11. Gen. Rab. 134; B. Erubin 18a.

12. B. Erubin 18a.

13. Gen. Rab. 55; Lev. Rab. 14.1: Abot diR. Nathan 1.8; B. Berakhot 61a; B. Erubin 18a; Tanhuma Tazri’a 1; Yalchut Gen. 20; Tanh. Buber iii.33; Mid. Tehillim 139, 529.

In sum, Lilith is superbad.

The Wandering Jew is a quasi-Christian legend that dates back to the thirteenth century, and holds true as one of the strangest creatures that God has allegedly cursed upon this earth. There are many versions of this story but, I am going to try to swim though the hoopla, and bring forth a tale worth repeating.

The Wandering Jew is supposedly a man who was cursed with immortality by Christ until the Second Coming of the Lord. The myth holds to this verse in the Bible:

[1]“Assuredly, I say to you, there are some standing here who shall not taste death till they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom.”
–Matthew 16:28 [NKJV]

This is how the legend goes. [2]A Jewish man is on the road watching Jesus Christ, the Son of God being led to the crucifixion. The man calls out to Christ mocking Him, and because of this God curses this man to wander the earth restless until the Second Coming. There are differing stories that alter the man’s occupation from being a shoe maker [which is the most popular version of the story] to a door man for Pontius Pilate.

The Jewish man goes by many name in the myth, depending upon the story:[" Melmoth, Ahasuerus, Matathias, Buttadeus, Cartophilus, Isaac Laquedem (a name for him in France and the Low Countries, in popular legend as well as in a novel by Dumas), and Juan Espera a Dios (Spanish: "John [who] waits for God”) and also Jerusalemin suutari (”Shoemaker of Jerusalem” in Finnish).”]

[3]The story then falls toward the Catholic end of the spectrum where the ‘Wandering Jew on repented of his sins and was baptized Catholic. He grows old in the normal fashion until reaching one hundred whereupon he sheds his skin and rejuvenates to the age of thirty. The Middle Ages abound with sightings of the Wandering Jew, generally telling his story in turn for meager food and lodging, sometimes even undergoing tests of authenticity by local professors and academic figures. Encounters with the Wandering Jew occurred all throughout Europe - during the Middle Ages, there were sightings in Armenia, Poland, Moscow, and virtually every Western European city including London.’

[4]One profound historic meeting was “recorded in the Flores Historiarum by Roger of Wendover under the year 1228. An Armenian archbishop, then visiting England, was asked by the monks of St Albans Abbey about the celebrated Joseph of Armathea, who had spoken to Jesus, and was reported to be still alive. The archbishop answered that he had himself seen him in Armenia, and that his name was Cartaphilus, a Jewish shoemaker, who, when Jesus stopped for a second to rest while carrying his cross, hit him, and told him “Go on quicker, Jesus! Go on quicker! Why dost Thou loiter?”, to which Jesus, “with a stern countenance,” is said to have replied: “I shall stand and rest, but thou shalt go on till the last day.” The Armenian bishop also reported that Cartaphilus had since converted to Christianity and spent his wandering days proselytizing and leading a hermitic life.”

The Wandering Jew has been a tale that has always fascinated Europe since the thirteenth century, and will continue to do probably until the Second Coming of the Lord. I know this isn’t generally the types of post I write but, I thought it was a little piece of history to cherish.

[1]Biblegateway.com:Matthew16:28 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2016:28&version=50

[2]The Wandering Jew. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wandering_jew

[3]WanderingJew.Shurin,Jared.http://www.pantheon.org/articles/w/wandering_jew.html

[4] The Wandering Jew. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wandering_jew

I think the word grace defines my ever-present cataclysm of a Christian walk. I find myself akin to Paul as he wrote this:

“…Then last of all He was seen by me also, as by one born out of due time.
for I am the least of the apostles, who am not worthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me. Therefore, whether it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed.”

-1 Corinthians 15:8-11[NKJV]

I may not have persecuted the church but, the Lord knows I’ve done pretty much everything else. By God’s grace though He has seen us through quite a few rough spots;

God has blessed Jennifer and I more than we could have ever imagined possible. When we got married we had one thousand dollars in our pocket that 1K was for moving expenses, motel, food, rent [to an apartment we didn’t even have yet] furniture etc. We prayed though and were faithful to the Lord that He would supply our needs, and did the Lord supply our needs! After the wedding our bank account tripled, and when we drove down to Baltimore, MD we were blessed even further. The first apartment we looked at was in our price range, in a ‘good’ neighborhood. Later on that day the Lord provided for our furniture [a table, futon, queen-size bed] with little expense. Jenny and I have sought the Lord for anything and everything we need. We aren’t rich and I still am currently unemployed but, the Lord provides for us and we lack for nothing. Over and over again in my mind, I see just how much the Lord blesses me; even though I fail time and time again God shows His magnificent grace and mercy towards His stupid son. For anyone who is struggling right now: seek the Lord, His grace is there. When we are weak He is strong.

“Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” -2 Corinthians 12:8-10 [NKJV]

“…The wicked know no peace and you just can’t fake it,
there’s only one road and it leads to Calvary.
It gets discouraging at times, but I know I’ll make it
by the saving grace that’s over me.” –Bob Dylan, Saving Grace, 1980.

My Glorious, the mysteries of long past and forgotten slowly unfold from in obscurity to present in a flash. It’s funny to see the modus operandi of the Father in seemingly enigmatic ways come to life in such a full circle that, one would not even begin to fathom the depth of such circumstances. For example, I was going to a job interview last week in Columbia, MD. It was an insurance company, and I was applying for the job as an account rep. I was nervous did the interview but, insofar as to say, no job for the B-dogg. As I was driving home, I felt lost, lonely and disconsolate but most of all, missing the Adirondacks and my *compatriot; however the omnipresence and good humor of the Father shone down upon my sorry behind. As I sat at the traffic light weighting to turn onto Security Blvd, a horn honked at my car. I thought to myself ‘what on earth did I do?’ but, as I turned a man was with his son next to me in his Chevy and said “What part?” and I responded ‘what part of what?’. “New York, what part of New York are you from?” I replied, ‘from Plattsburgh, in the Adirondacks.’ All of a sudden the man’s eyes lighted up, he told me that he was from the same general area and moved here sixteen years ago, he told me that this was a wonderful place to live, and I would enjoy it.

            In that moment I stopped and smiled. You can say what you will about happenstance but, I felt the presence of God resting on myself afterward. A sense of comfort, if anyone has moved away forever from their original homeland [yes, Peaslyville is its own country.] you would feel a little lost as well. It felt as a wink to me that God was saying ‘I am even here in the scary city.’**

 I had a similar experience this week. I had to go to take my praxis exam, and as I drove out through the city and went into suburbia I found something that I had been missing for a while: trees. I pulled up into the parking lot and as I turned behind me, I saw a dazzling spectacle, mountains. I stared in awe at the two magnificent beasts rising from the earth. As I looked a breeze caught me on my left side, and all I could do was smile. I think in more than anything, I can see God in nature, in the trees, the grass and the stupendous mountains that have stood since the time of creation. I think that every once in a while God just wants to give us a little taste of paradise, to remind us that we are not of this world so; its okay if we feel that we aren’t home yet. We’ll be there soon enough though.

 “The voice said, “Cry out!”
And he said, “What shall I cry?”

“All flesh is grass,
and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field.
7 The grass withers, the flower fades,
because the breath of the LORD blows upon it;
surely the people are grass.
8 The grass withers, the flower fades,
but the word of our God stands forever.” –Isaiah 40:6-8 [NKJV]

*my compatriot is Jason Godzilla Roberts and yes, that semicolon is for him.

**Murder count now at: 195, in Baltimore.

Ah, yes. The war in Iraq.

Endless fighting.

endless Killing.

Endless suffering.

endless…

I am sick of the endless debates, questions unanswered, and the will of the American people ignored.

Psalm 120

A Song of Ascents.

1 In my distress I cried to the LORD,
And He heard me.
2 Deliver my soul, O LORD, from lying lips
And from a deceitful tongue.

3 What shall be given to you,
Or what shall be done to you,
You false tongue?
4 Sharp arrows of the warrior,
With coals of the broom tree!

5 Woe is me, that I dwell in Meshech,
That I dwell among the tents of Kedar!
6 My soul has dwelt too long
With one who hates peace.
7 I am for peace;
But when I speak, they are for war.